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[ # ] Mixed-up Chocolate City Resident Apologizes
January 23rd, 2006 under Christianity, Hypocrisy, Walking Like Jesus, Baptists, New Orleans, Friends

JerkMixed and mixed-up emotions are typical for “Chocolate City” folks. Until Katrina, I thought Ray Nagin was a really good mayor. Now, not so much. But, I understand his craziness. I’m that way too. The mixed and mixed-up emotions I’m experiencing are taking their toll on me as well.

For example: Recently, I’ve been arguing a bit with my friend D.R. After his recent comment and a very harsh phone call from Shirley, I’ve realized that my arguments with him haven’t been too charitable. My friend Joe also sent an email to me chiding me for my bitterness. I’m really really sorry. I never intended to come off as bitter or rude. Angry, yes. Bitter or rude, no. You see, it’s my opinion that since D.R. and I are friends who happen to be very passionate about our beliefs (passionate, but neither of us walk funny) we can disagree without fear of hurting each other’s feelings. I was wrong. Maybe face to face where I can slap him on the back of the head is the better way, because this form of communication doesn’t really lend itself well to sarcasm. Again, to D.R. or anyone I have hurt, I am very sorry.

Hence, the mixed emotions struggle. I really am very proud of D.R. and love him very much. However, I’m not happy with a few of his theological positions. So, I get angry when he’s so wrong (sarcasm alert!) and I want him to see the light and believe like me. Unfortunately, the last part of the previous sentence is true. That makes me look pretty bad doesn’t it? Yep. I know. I don’t believe that I know everything. I really don’t. In fact, where I am is very uncomfortable theologically. After getting a PhD, and spending years trying to get it I’m still very confused. But I have been where D.R. is right now. And I am thankful that I’m no longer where he is theologically. But after giving it much thought and prayer, I realize that God loved me when I was a conservative republican Calvinist. God still loves me, and always will. Therefore, if D.R. stays where he is theologically, God’s OK with that and I must be too. Besides, like I said before, it’s really uncomfortable where I am right now. Sorry, D.R. I’ll try to do better.

Here’s the mixed part—-call me a tree-hugging–communist–liberal if you want to. I won’t mind. Just don’t question my Christianity or commitment to scripture. I really want to call you a right-wing—fundamentalist—doofus. As long as we know we love and respect each other, can’t we do that? I really do believe we can learn from each other. You actually have some insightful comments even when you disagree with me. I appreciate that. I want to change you. You don’t have it all figured out yet. But, I also want to be changed by you. You care a lot more about being civil and nice than I do and that’s what I need to hear. A lot. I also need to hear other things from you. That’s why it’s the body of Christ isn’t it? So we can help each other. I obviously need more help than you do right now (not sarcasm). Help me be better. Help me speak the truth in love. Since I don’t have a handle on the truth, and am finding it hard to love right now I would appreciate your help brother.


Read the Comments

[ # 284 ] Comment from D.R. Randle [January 24, 2006, 4:45 am]

Howie, I appreciate your open apology, but know that I don’t think you owe me one at all. I was not (too) offended by your comments directed to me (just kidding). I made my statements knowing full well that you would disagree with me and I take full responsibility knowing that you would possibly react the way you did. I think that I should be apologizing to you, especially since you have gone through so much over the past several months, things that I cannot imagine nor begin to understand. The least I should do is let you vent a little.

I also know that you believe me to be wrong, as you know that I believe the same about you. And you are right that we are both passionate, hopefully about the right things. We come from very different perspectives and we have been mentored by very different men. Finally, we have had different experiences with conservativism. And as I have said to you before, had I had the same experiences you have, I might hold very different positions regarding the SBC and conservativism in general. But that was not God’s will for my life and alas I believe that He not only desires me to hold the views I do, but also to use my intellect to challenge those with whom I disagree. Generally, these disagreements can occur without emotions (and I unfortunately pride myself on my ability to often stay calm in the midst of debate), but with a man like you, Howie, I realize that the stakes are higher because of our previous and current relationship. I think both of us desires to see the other’s perspective, but we still find it problematic to do so. Thus, we have hit an impasse and it has envoked emotions neither of us wanted to bring into it.

So I say all this to say I appreciate you and your humility and willingness to not slap me in the back of the head. I am sorry that I have knowingly pushed your buttons and have exploited your emotions in order to try to make my own point. That was unfair of me. I do hope that in the future we will get to talk less passionately about these things about which we disagree. I do learn from you as well, and through many, many experiences on the internet I have been able to see some serious problems with the attitudes of many conservatives and it has reminded me to daily examine my own attitude and character.

Thanks for continuing to be my friend and for helping me to grow as a Christian and a man. Know that you do indeed continue to be a major influence on my life and how I view Christianity.

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